HokieWar

Though yesterday seemed pretty quiet without any reported kills, we can assure you from the stories we’ve heard that there was much detective work and close calls going on. Some cocky assassins even had the audacity to leave clues to their targets about their recent whereabouts. To keep you all motivated, we’d like to share a kill story, courtesy of Goose’s genius and Mugglekillah’s myopics:

Goose(1) comes at Mugglekillah(0) like a spidermonkey (he’s all jacked up on Mountain Dew):

I had a very difficult time tracking my target down. Putting a lockdown on facebook, myspace and aim all made finding information about them nearly impossible. Even some bad information lead me on astray, but then, a breakthrough.

As I waited for my target early this morning across from their apartment parking lot, I saw her leave and get in the car. I cautiously followed, at least 4-5 car lenghts behind. Into the commuter lot we go, and as she parks we locked eyes. Surely she suspected something, but I kept calm and continued driving. After I parked I was able to spot her from quite a ways away. Bright colors on a drab day are not your friend.

I followed her into the chemp building, where I ran into one of my friends. “Hey, have you seen…” and described my victim. He pointed me in the direction she went. So I go in, and sure enough, there she is. I take a seat on the opposite side of the room from them, and the professor starts talking. I always wanted to take astronomy, but could never get in. So to fit in, I took out my notebook and began to take notes on the lecture, all the while keeping a watch on my target from the corner of my eye. Sitting there, sipping her coffee, bright shirt and all… she had no idea what was coming.

45 minutes later the class ends, I pack up my things and follow her out the door. Then something unexpected happens, instead of following the crowd, she veers off. Surely, she’s picked up on something. I wait outside for about a minute, and anxiously go back inside. I see her waiting for the bathroom, so I continue through the building and wait.

After a short while I go back around the corner, past the bathrooms, and towards the main doors. If she isn’t here now, I think to myself, this may have to wait. But fate was on my side today, as she walked out right behind me. I even held the door for her, looked her right in the eye and smiled. As we walked outside, I had my hand in my pocket on my watergun. When we were about 5 feet apart I pulled out my weapon, squeezed the trigger, and it was over. In utter shock and a look of disgust she said, “Oh damn, are you for real?” To her misfortune, I was.

Look out, because I’ll find you too.